


hotel california.

by jackiescox



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: 1970s, Alternate Universe - Historical, F/F, Inspired by Music, Motorcycles, Revolution, Secret Relationship, Song Lyrics, Song: Hotel California, Useless Lesbians, motorcyle lesbian gigi slaps and jankie candle gc motivated me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:15:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23618872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackiescox/pseuds/jackiescox
Summary: jackie is a new immigrant to california after the explosion of the iranian revolution and meets gigi goode, a motorcyclist whose father owns the complex the persian is staying at for the next few months. what could possibly go wrong. [songfic based on hotel california]
Relationships: Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode, Crystal Methyd/Jaida Essence Hall, Jackie Cox/Gigi Goode, Jaida Essence Hall/Jan Sport, but besties...
Comments: 44
Kudos: 68





	1. some dance to remember, some dance to forget

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to all of jankie candle for being the best support and always loving this idea from the beginning, I hope you all enjoy and tumblr is @leljaaa as always xx

— *.✧

_August 25th 1978._

* * *

Jackie's hands ceased to move as she stood completely stone-faced, looking towards the windows of the Yeşilköy Airport in Istanbul. 

Her eyes glanced around the larger-than-life interior of the building as she was left to stare at the small view of the water from the terminal gate her ticket has assigned her to be present in.

**Water.**

That's all that managed to separate Jackie from her motherland. 

All of her childhood and current life was to be completely thrown away and restarted.

The storm clouds concerning the collapse of the entire country had gathered for almost an entire year. It didn't help that everyone was simply butting heads over how to properly come together to try and overthrow the reigning government in power.

The Pro-Western, secret-police-filled lavish monarchy was now, apparently, wanting to be replaced with a Anti-Western theocracy. It had been largely nonviolent, thankfully, and simply was massed with civil protests as well as marches and chants from various citizens.

But the revolution finally erupted when only six days ago, 500 citizens were burned to their demise in an intentional fire that started at a local movie theatre. 

Outcry, screams, rallying on the streets. 

**Constant**. 

Jackie left her family, called her mother one last time and promised to try to communicate as much as she could when she finally reached the West.

Storming out of University she groaned, running for Istanbul with her one suitcase after she hugged her roommate goodbye. She wiped the tears from her eyes as she passed by the warm and friendly neighborhood cats in Tehran one last time. 

She adjusted her long blue and white floral dress as she pulled on the tassels near her neckline, making an attempt to tighten the top of the outfit as she gasped, hearing the announcement in Turkish and English about her flight finally boarding the next class in line.

Los Angeles was the only destination she was able to find a decent price for, her main sights were set on Canada where they had vacationed before to see cousins and distant family. However, most Iranians were fleeing to the states, so much so that the number in colleges jumped up almost 40,000 people. 

Arrangements for her housing were made over in a telephone booth nearly an hour ago as Jackie detailed her situation to the man who apparently owned one of the cheaper complexes in California. 

It wasn't her first choice but it was certainly her only choice at the moment, especially when she was about to board a plane to the destination.

_Is this the American dream? Telling a stranger my life story as I sob over a payphone?_

They exchanged information and she was booked through the system as she had just barely enough money to cover her basic expenses and the down payment he spoke of.

All that money saved from new year celebrations, her birthday, college and her job as a waitress would barely even cover a good two weeks of rent. 

Basic math showed that seventy Iranian rial only equated to a single US Dollar. 

Luckily, being an English and Linguistics major she knew the language like the back of her hand even if she still slipped heavily into her accent while conversing. 

She could at least try to find work with the skills she had under her belt.

_I know French fluently in any worst case. I'm sure there's some posh, Parisian strolling around the malls of America I've heard described in my magazines._

"Thank you," she whispered in English as she gripped her pastel blue suitcase close to her chest, stepping past the flight attendant as she entered the covered bridge. 

_My whole life is now on hold._

— *.✧

"Morning Miss Goode," a gentle voice spoke as the blonde flipped her long hair and shut the door in front of her. She smiled seeing one of their long time visitors, Clarissa, sitting near the lounge of the apartment complex with Earth, Wind & Fire blaring across the radio.

"Good morning," she grinned as she gave her a hug, gently crouching as she tried to keep a smile while hugging the older woman, who was reading her daily newspaper. 

Her denim jumpsuit was covered in oil stains as she wiped her face dabbed in sweat. 

"Riding again?" 

The twenty year old laughed, confirming the woman's suggestion and shrugging with a small smile painted across her lips as she tied her hair back, explaining that she was trying to see if her motorcycle had an oil leak, that was all. 

"Just trying to work on the bike while I can."

Owning the complex was always some kind of burden and weight on her shoulders, though it wasn't the Ritz or a five star resort, she grew up knowing it was a deep part of her family history and she was next to own it and take over the business.

Go to University and study business, paid for by her parents, come home and expand the housing and see a surge in profit.

If this plan was the stairwell to Heaven, Gigi had completely turned around and jumped off backwards after hitting that first step.

Gigi could care less about education in a society where no one cared unless you were rich or singing the number one hit song charting on the radios.

She had barely gotten her high school diploma before she decided to drop out of community college, despite getting to live with her best friend since middle school, Crystal. 

The redhead had been extremely anxious about the sudden separation, until she realized that the starving poor artist wasn't a good look for her or her family, who barely had enough means as it was. 

Now they both worked at the complex for decent money, Crystal great with design and helping out with various projects concerning architecture or the new paint jobs for the inside of some of the rooms.

Gigi was often stuck at the front desk, or trying to mingle with confused or returning guests who took every chance to complain to the daughter of the owner whenever they possibly could.

She entered the door to her childhood home as she was immediately met with an uncertain stare directed her way. 

"Dad—" her lips pursed together as she was immediately stopped by her father who sighed, not even needing an explanation of where she was or what she partook in instead of her job at the front desk of the small hotel. 

"Gigi! We talked about this, you have to focus on your job here and make your money's worth and not just ride your bike!"

"I know…" she pouted as she took a deep breath, saddling in for another long rant from her father. But her mom seemed to hear her inner prayers, walking by and rubbing her shoulders, insisting that Gigi was allowed to have some fun during these hot dull summer months.

"Thank you," she whispered as she was bestowed with a loving kiss upon her forehead, her mom holding her hand as she stepped over to the kitchen, asking if Gigi would like anything to drink.

"I'm good."

Her father seemed to ignore the last two minutes as he sat on the couch, blissfully watching whatever channel was being broadcast as the mention of a new, month long rental had called in this morning.

"She's coming all the way from Iran. Only a bit older than Gigi."

Gigi's ears perked up as she changed in the bathroom out of the tight outfit into her short-cut t-shirt gifted from Crystal as a token of their friendship. 

Her mind ran rampant with questions as she bit her lower lip and shook her head; she knew well enough from consistent pestering and close observation that right now wasn't a good time to be speaking about something still considered so taboo.

The only lesbian in all of Los Angeles who wasn't ancient or leading an uprise was Crystal and her other close friend from high school, Jan, who was as about as open as you could get with someone still fiercely in the closet.

"What about a new girl?" She asked curiously as she stepped out from the shadows. 

Her father smiled, happy that Gigi was interested in anything pertaining to work, though the blonde knew exactly where her head laid with that question. 

"She's a refugee, the revolution is apparently starting to build and she needs a place to stay," her mother recapped as Gigi slid by the fridge, listening impatiently to her father's blind knowledge of politics and foreign affairs as she stole a soda.

"Their royalty recently spoke to our own Jimmy Carter you know." 

"Really?" Gigi replied with genuine shock, opening her bottle of Dr. Pepper, completely forgetting who her own country's president was for a solid two minutes. 

_I could give less of a shit._

It wasn't her fault she had failed Government and Economics in high school. 

She had always been in favour of taking those 45 minutes to instead go on a ride or just hide behind the bleachers with one of the cigarettes she had managed to steal from Crystal.

"Name?" 

"Jacqueline, she's scheduled to arrive around late afternoon so we should go down in a few to work on some unfinished papers and also to make sure she's comfortable." 

Gigi groaned, sipping her drink as she kept moaning at the thought of having to do math at a table alone. The incredibly interesting job of paperwork, however, would end with her meeting a new and mysterious woman almost her age. 

She could either be Gigi's next crush or turn into a decently close friend, and either way she considered it a win-win situation for the better.

— *.✧

"More to the left," the blonde spoke as Crystal lifted the piece of artwork towards the end of where she had placed her chair. 

"Good!" 

Nailing it in, the redhead jumped down from the chair as she and Gigi exchanged a round of high fives and hugs. 

The time had rolled around to ten minutes to four in the afternoon as the two were attempting to keep on singing with the ABBA record that was playing as they finished up the final touches of the autumn decor near the lobby.

It wasn't the most interesting time, but the pair always managed to make it as lively and fun as can be.

"Good job," she admitted as both headed for the pool before Gigi gasped, stopping immediately in her tracks when noticing what must've been the new Persian girl her father was talking about.

"Crystal, that's her!" She whisper-shouted as her best friend nodded, looking up and down at her beautifully styled outfit.

Flowing curly black hair, her dress long with a slit almost up to her thigh as she wore her locks down with little makeup on. 

She was _more_ than beautiful.

She was completely _ethereal._

A goddess, the kind of figure that would make anyone stop on the street just so they could take her in and bask in the pure, unfiltered grace and poise you would feel looking at such a textbook definition of stunning.

Crystal disappeared in broad daylight as Gigi was left staring, engulfed completely in fantasy and admiration for someone her age to travel all this way just to feel some stable security and safety. 

"Your full name?" 

The Persian tilted her head, confused before Gigi's father explained that it was just for check in purposes so they could find her room number and call number.

"Jacqueline but most will just call me Jackie, Cox." 

"Very American last name," her dad spoke, curious, Gigi wanting to bash her head against the wall the moment the words left his lips. 

"My dad was born in Canada," she explained sheepishly as she covered her cheeks with her fingertips, trying to disguise the blush that soon infiltrated her entire face.

They exchanged a couple of chuckles here and there before the Persian finally received the key to her hotel room, Gigi jumping out from behind her father to explain that she would show her the place she would be staying in.

Locking eyes, Jackie's expression brightened significantly as Gigi rapidly fluttered her lashes. Her tough girl exterior completely crumbled at the sight of someone so perfect and refined. 

"Gigi Goode." 

"Jackie Cox." 

They shook hands firmly, the both of them walking towards the elevator as Jackie held her suitcase, completely indifferent to the idea of staying at this complex despite the cute girl next to her who made sure she would get to her room in an orderly fashion.

Jackie missed her apartment in Tehran, she missed the mountains and high-rises in the window of her student home, with the silver tabbies sometimes hopping on the window when they smelled something good being cooked.

"I don't wanna ask you if it's triggering but what drove you to Los Angeles specifically? Is there a lot of students here from your country?" 

The Persian smiled, licking her lips as she tried to come up with a put together answer to the question without having to go through a textbook of back story concerning the revolution.

"There is a lot of fighting over my government and I just fled knowing it's going to get worse. Los Angeles does have some Persians here for sure but I only am here because it was the cheapest ticket option." 

"Awesome," Gigi gasped, "I mean not awesome! I'm sorry you're here but I'm very glad you're here and are staying with us!" 

_Way to make a first impression Gigi._

Jackie laughed at how quickly the blonde seemed to trip over her own words as the elevator opened to the second floor, Gigi skipping out before holding out her hand for the taller woman.

"Ladies first." 

"Thank you!" 

Making her way to the door she slid her key into the room as she finally managed to unlock it before nodding at the space within the room.

"It's very nice!" 

"You don't have to lie just because my father owns this building," Gigi admitted with a snicker as Jackie shook her head furiously.

"I mean it!"

Gigi couldn't help but stare at the brightly coloured walls, though she supposed anything was better than Jackie's current situation back in her home country. 

She explained that her and her best friend were probably going to be redoing the rooms soon with new paint job finishes.

"It's very cute, I like the colours." 

Jackie sets her suitcase down on the couch as she jumps on to it, wiggling around as she leaned back and sighed, remembering suddenly that she needed to find a way to speak with her mother.

"Do you possibly have some kind of phone around? I just need to contact my mother if that's okay." 

Gigi frowned, the idea of being away from her mom during a damn revolution abroad completely would destroy her, though Jackie seemed fine, or was at least able to mask her true emotions extremely well. 

"Yeah, there should be one in the kitchen. It has a guide in English and French if you know it," She jokes though the Persian claps, admitting she's fluent and better at it than English.

_Oh so she's also a cunning linguist._

_What a home run._

"It's a bit confusing but if you get stuck you can always ask me, I work at the front desk most of the time." 

Jackie stands, their faces in proximity as she thanks Gigi for all the good service and help. The Persian admitted she definitely wanted to see her again considering she was the first connection she had made arriving in America.

"If you ever wanna see me you can catch me on my Kawasaki motorcycle, I'm almost always out somewhere riding." 

"You drive a motorcycle?" She asks, genuinely intrigued at Gigi's few hobbies.

"I do and I would be happy to take you anywhere you need, we live near one of the best downtown areas so whenever you need food or just want to stroll, let me know." 

Jackie tucked the loose strands of her black hair behind her ear as she blushed, admitting it might have to be soon since she had to go off and buy some food for herself. 

"If it's any trouble, I absolutely do not mind walking…" 

"You're not going to walk to a grocery store, what time do you want to go? I'll knock on your door."

The Persian stared at the clock before humming, admitting that somewhere around six or seven would be perfect. 

"It's a date," Gigi flirted before making a move and kissing Jackie's hand, saying goodbye to her new-found friend as the refugee stared at her with a smirk.

"Bye Gigi," she whispered as the blonde turned and closed the door, Jackie locking it before trying not to let the thought of this girl completely hypnotize her. 

She was beautiful and very sweet. She was trying to make Jackie feel as comforted as possible, even if her responses were sometimes just a bit floundered. 

Content with what she had, she turned on the small television perked in her room as she quickly explored the remaining calibers of the place she would call home for the next few weeks or so.

Her body stopped at the sight of the phone as she gripped the wires, her fingers wrapping around them as she anxiously attempted to call her mother, though she knew it was a long shot, and if it wasn't it would still be expensive.

_No answer._

She groaned, head in her heads as she attempted to not cry. She put aside some of her extra money she budgeted out for non-necessity items. 

_I will ask Gigi to find me a payphone so I can give a call._

_However, I still have to work out these timezone conversions._

Her suitcase was filled to the brim with whatever she could bring: her best outfits, three pairs of shoes, all her basic first aid, the money, some tokens of her home country to keep her at ease, a small Iranian flag and some miscellaneous items to keep her entertained like a few vinyl records and lots of art and writing materials. 

"This is the American dream they always speak about," she muttered under her breath as she pulled out a long white kaftan to wear for the rest of the day. 

_Welcome to the United States Jackie, everything is only uphill from here..._


	2. still those voices are calling from far away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jackie and gigi take to the city to get some basic shopping done as the persian feels herself developing a strange connection towards the blonde she just met. gigi is happy to be a taste tester and ride her bike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to all of jankie candle for being the best support and of course to alex for always being the best beta. I hope you all enjoy and tumblr is @leljaaa as always xx

— *.✧

"This is pretty good," the words left Jackie's lips as she tightened the gold belt on her white kaftan as she was left to stare aimlessly in the mirror, admiring her acute sense of fashion.

The clock struck ten minutes to seven as Jackie finished adjusting her hair, making sure she adjusted her light red lipstick as she heard a knock on the door.

Completely giddy, she raced out of her room, grabbing her wallet before her hands pulled on the handle and opened the door.

Gigi was outside her door, parked against the wall in an ensemble completely resembling the sunsets back home in Tehran. 

Her blonde hair flowing across the top of the pastel blue, yellow and pink colour blocked outfit. She looked beautiful and Jackie was completely in awe at the colour scheme and how the American managed to make her entire heart race purely by virtue of wearing an outfit.

Gigi's cool facade seemed to drop the minute she looked up to see Jackie dressed to the nines as she always was. The blonde's heart stopped and she masked the burning flush across her cheeks with a cough, saying aloud that she looked very pretty.

_ God is a woman. Crystal was absolutely right. _

They headed for her bike, the American admitting she left it outside her garage so they could get on the bike and leave.

"So you are good at riding?" 

Gigi chuckled, nodding as she spotted Jackie's worried face. "I'm very good! I have studied my craft well," she replied with a wink carrying her matching helmet as they make it towards the next complex besides Jackie's.

"Okay, you're going to sit behind me and I recommend you hold my waist or lower back because my shoulders aren't a good option." 

Jackie nods, waiting for Gigi to position her bike, the blonde grinning at the sight of her dual-seated brown and black motorcycle. 

"Alright here we go!" Gigi yelled, excited that she got to take such a beautiful girl out on her bike, especially considering the circumstances surrounding Jackie's entire arrival.

_ This is my hometown, I have to make sure she can see as much as she can while she's still around. _

Her hands gripped the throttles of her bike as the Persian hopped on behind her, having made sure back in her room that she put shorts on, knowing the kaftan would completely blast away in the wind.

"Good," she heard Gigi call out as her hands slid past her back and wrapped around her waist, head laying comfortingly on her back side. Jackie hummed gently against her outfit as her gloved hands kick-started the engine.

She couldn't see it but Gigi was  _ profusely _ blushing under her matching helmet. 

The ignition turned on as she quickly made sure everything was in proper position before letting her fingertips press the start button. Jackie jumped up at the firing and sputtering of the engine fires. Gigi's hands clutched at the throttles as she gently began to move pressing the gas.

"Hold on tight, it's only about a ten minute ride," she yelled as the motorcycle began to pick up speed extremely quickly. 

Gigi grinned hearing Jackie cursing and instantaneously gripping her waist even tighter, seeing everything quickly disappear behind their view. 

_ Has she never been on a motorcycle before? _

Jackie was horrified, completely shook up to say the least, but she admitted in the back of her mind that there was something so euphoric about the fact she was up against this extremely fascinating and beautiful biker. 

The scenery of Los Angeles was quite lovely, humidity aside. 

It reminded her of Tehran in a way with the picturesque mountain backdrop, though Jackie was completely new to all of the palm trees that clouded every square inch of this city. 

Gigi picked up speed as they were still alone on the one lane road, explaining to Jackie that the grocery store wasn't too far from here. They slowed to a halt at the traffic lights above them, the Persian glancing around constantly to take in any new building or bush or tree that she saw. 

_ Pretty city. Maybe it was meant to be, staying here instead of Canada. _

They finally entered traffic as Gigi turned left straight into one of the larger city centers, keeping in her lane as she impatiently waited to turn into the grocery store parking lot. 

"Hurry up," she screamed muffled through her helmet as a Mercedes-Benz finally backed out of the parking spot closest to the entrance of the store. 

"Very big…" Jackie was almost impressed and also distraught. Iran, as well as most of the Middle East and Balkan countries she had lived in or traveled to, had been simply made up of small businesses that each did one thing.

One cheese shop, one local butcher, one man you always got your bread or spices from— this was a complete cultural reset. 

Gigi parked as she took the key out of the ignition, throwing it up in the air as she laughed, dropping it on the pavement. Jackie snickered as she adjusted her flowing kaftan, hoping it wasn't completely wrinkled as they stepped inside the store. 

"You okay?" 

"Yes!" Jackie exclaimed nervously, terrified purely by the size and scope of the store. It didn't help that there were many people crowding in the store and she hadn't even brought a list with her.

A lightbulb popped into her head as Gigi came back to the Persian girl, rolling along a green shopping cart. 

"I want to cook for you tonight!" 

The blonde blushed, completely honoured but a bit confused by the sudden plan. "That's not necessary, I just wanted to make sure you had food," she replied before Jackie interjected, saying that she needed some way to pay Gigi back for the sweet favour. 

"Well if you really want to, I won't be stopping you," the blonde admitted, staring at the bright smile painted across her lips. Jackie clasped her hands together in excitement as she skipped down to the produce section. 

She was in awe of how every vegetable and fruit seemed to be in season in America. 

_ Do they not have the changing of seasons?  _

The Persian decided it was only right for her to make Tahdig, the most loved soul food of her home country, for Gigi who was simply staring at the fruits as Jackie picked up a good amount of veggies and potatoes, seeing as they were quite cheap compared to the packaged alternatives.

_ Maybe some Kanafeh as well. _

Dozens of herbs and spices filled her cart as she crouched down and gasped, smiling seeing actual Middle Eastern products taking up a tiny section of what Gigi described as the "International Section" with most of the imported foods. 

"How comforting," she whispered before grabbing two entire bags of chickpeas, a standard necessity for any Middle Eastern citizen as she frowned, unable to find proper tahini, though she knew she could just make it with the sesame seeds and oil already in the cart. 

Gigi was in awe of how healthy and natural Jackie was, half of her items were green and the other half were just spices or beans. She embarrassingly tossed an entire bag of German chocolate in the cart as she kept a close eye on the Persian girl who seemed to be in her own world. 

"It's not Iran but it's very nice," she heard Jackie mutter, loud enough for some xenophobic man nearby to step closer and yell about how refugees from Iran were flooding every University and town in California. 

"I'm sorry?" 

"Go back to your fucking country already!" 

Jackie's face showed genuine confusion and lack of understanding by the statement as Gigi immediately walked over, stopping a moment to remember she always had a switchblade in her back pocket if needed.

"She's not doing anything you fucking prick," she muttered loud enough for the man to hear her but not talking loud enough to start any kind of rally in the grocery store. "People are in danger where she's from you know. What's it like to have no concept of basic human decency?" 

Gigi firmly stepped in front of Jackie, who gently stood up and took a few steps back, trying not to make eye contact or respond. 

"Fucking hippy." 

The blonde flipping him off as Jackie gently rubbed her shoulders, whispering at her to stop trying to cause a commotion just for her.

"You don't care at all what he's saying?" 

The Persian sighed, not knowing how to properly put into words how she felt. 

"My religion has always taught me violence isn't the way, that's what my entire country's revolution has now succumbed to. I have bigger issues concerning me, like if my mother is safe, if my best friend was shot by police during a rally; not some stupid comment." 

Gigi swallowed hard, apologizing weakly and quietly as Jackie's radiant smile returned. She appreciated the gesture, even if it wasn't something she would've ever done.

"You want anything else?"

"Just honey and then I need your help finding something sweet. What do American's like for sweets or chocolate?" The question pondered in Jackie's head as Gigi grinned ear to ear immediately running down the aisle as if she was a track superstar. 

"These," Gigi held up three separate bags of Pop Rocks, Jackie laughing curiously as she took one in her fingertips, staring at the bright coloured packaging and giant typography.

"We'll try them at your room, they're huge with kids and teenagers mostly but I definitely enjoy them on a mindless level." 

They waited in line before walking out with three paper bags, Gigi groaning as she realized there was absolutely no way either of them could hold it with the motorcycle. Jackie ran inside, the blonde left awkwardly standing around before she came back with a few plastic bags. 

Gigi watched as she stacked the weight evenly between the two large plastic bags, the Persian tied them to each throttle of the motorcycle making sure that they weren't going blocking any buttons. 

"You're truly the smartest person I've ever met." 

Jackie flushed, giggling as she waited for Gigi to put her helmet back on as the stars were gently painted across the night sky. She hopped on before the American put her key into the ignition, waiting for the car beside her to park before they began riding once again.

As the Persian's head fell against Gigi's back, the blonde couldn't help but smile the entire ride home.

— *.✧

They hauled the groceries back to Jackie's complex as she kicked the door open, turning on one of the lights as she set the bags down near her small kitchen counter. 

"Very nice," Jackie whispered as she stared at Gigi's bright blonde hair in a complete trance. The American looking up confused as the woman beside her laughed it off, lying and saying she was impressed by all the food she got. 

"Oh yeah, a lot of this stuff like the spices you shouldn't have to buy again," Gigi smiled as she attempted neatly to organize her fridge. 

Something was pulling at Jackie's heart, she couldn't tell what but she felt like every moment they had spent together thus far was completely made up of not-so-secret glances and sweet smiles. 

"Thank you for everything," she said as she grabbed Gigi's wrist and pulled her near, the American chuckling nervously as she partook in whatever romantic connotation she could get. 

"It's no problem, you deserve to have an easy start," she was silent as Jackie pressed a gentle kiss to her left cheek, not thinking much of the gesture, though Gigi took it as nothing but utter affection. 

"Will you stay and eat with me?" 

"Absolutely." 

— *.✧

Gigi could not cook. 

She had always known about this fact, considering her parents always made the food. However, trying to keep up with and help Jackie while she made her traditional Middle Eastern dishes had shown her how messy and clumsy she could be. 

"Jesus, I got it everywhere," the blonde yelled as she was still cleaning fresh garlic peels and stray strands of rice off the floor. 

"It is okay, when you eat it you should taste all the effort that you went through!" 

It was easy for Jackie to say when she was still spotless, despite wearing only a completely light white fabric across her body. 

"I'm sure it will taste great."

They stood around the kitchen plating before Gigi jumped on the counter, sitting comfortably as she watched Jackie pour an extremely fragrant syrup across the crispy plates that had just been cooking in the oven. She was in awe truly of the woman's resourcefulness and talents. 

_ Americans really are at the bottom of the totem pole… _

"What is that, if I can ask? I'm sorry if it's a stupid question," Gigi bluffed before Jackie shook her head. 

"No question is stupid from you, you asked and I will answer," the Persian replied with a focused smile as she explained it was a very traditional and loved desert in the Middle East and Balkan region that had been around for centuries. 

"It is basically crunchy pastry with cheese layered in the middle, and at the end when it's melted you pour your sugar syrup and place some nuts at the top." 

Gigi nodded, completely thrilled she had the great job and honour of taste testing an entire plate of it. 

The other dish they made together was essentially a very popular crunchy rice dish, almost always served as a side dish, though everyone loved it enough to make dozens of plates of it.

"It's very plain, that's why we made some spinach to go with it. I'm very excited to see how you did."

They managed to get everything clean and on plates that Gigi stole from her own house as they sat on the couch, per request of Jackie, and dug into the desert first. 

"Holy shit," Gigi moaned as she devoured the entire plate in a solid five minutes, taking in every luxurious cheese pull and making sure all the syrup was sticking to the dough. 

"This is so good…" 

Jackie, who had not even finished half of it, slowly ate, though she was over the moon that Gigi enjoyed her cooking and was partaking in something that reminded her of home so much. 

The blonde jumped up, turning on the radio as they ate, grooving to The Runaways as she sat back down next to the taller woman. 

"Did the phone work?" 

Jackie gasped, cursing in Farsi as she put her head in her hands hopelessly. Gigi immediately kneeled near the Persian girl who groaned feeling nothing but utter stupidity.

_ I forgot to ask Gigi about taking me to a payphone… _

"I was gonna ask you to take me to a payphone, this one won't make calls to Iran." 

Gigi held her hand tight as Jackie began to cry harder and harder thinking about her mother and how worried sick she must be between the uprising and her eldest daughter all alone in America. 

"Sorry," she whispered as Gigi frowned, immediately opening her arms as the two of them silently hugged on the couch. 

The blonde felt a pit in her stomach even thinking about the thought of leaving her mom in a completely different country that was also having an entire revolution as they spoke.

"She's okay I promise, tomorrow morning I wanna take you to Hollywood so you can get the full tourist experience and you will see a payphone every block," Gigi promised as Jackie looked up, pushing her curls away from her face as she nodded at the sentiment and idea.

"Thank you Gigi." 

"Anytime," she said as they went back to enjoying the food, exhausted but still managing to share all the stupid stories they had with each other.

Jackie couldn't have expected a better first day after touching down in a completely foreign country, though Gigi seemed to make the transition as seamless and enjoyable as possible. 

Their hands toying with each other as they would talk about their experiences at college or Jackie's extremely well traveled background. 

Gigi even managed to sneak in the Pop Rocks as the refugee confusedly followed along with the antics, finally giving in and trying the candy as she yelled the minute they hit her tongue. 

"Are they—" 

"Supposed to spark up? Absolutely, it's the fun part of the candy!" 

Jackie didn’t know what to think, but she went along with it, though she could taste every chemical and food dye put into the candy. It was very cute and fun, the flavour subpar but the experience worth the extra two dollars.

They cleaned the dishes and the Persian slipped her another piece of the Middle Eastern sweet for her to take home as she handed Gigi the plate, the woman still in her motorcyclist outfit as she leaned against the door frame.

"See you tomorrow," the blonde mumbled under her breath as Jackie waved, gently closing the door as she clutched her heart with a heavy sigh. 

Her footsteps lighter than air as she thought about the entire night and cooking with Gigi, she had so many previous close female friends but her heart never had so vigorously wanted a woman. 

_ It's only been a day, it's only been a single day. _

She bit her lip, trying not to think about it. 

All the homophobia she had seen first hand at University wasn't to be taken lightly. Seeing all the cases of men suddenly disappearing, or seeing the small towns in Turkey or Croatia with the few but loud protesters who would be thrown tear gas by the police. 

It wasn't worth the risk and targets if it was a hopeless crush. 

_ If. If it is.  _

It couldn’t be, it was just simply a strong friendship forming. 

That was it, a friendship Jackie decided as she cleared her headspace, sneaking a final piece of the food as if her mother was around the corner ready to scold her for eating so late.

_ Just friends, Jackie. Just friends. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments much appreciated <3


	3. such a lovely place, such a lovely face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jackie explores more of los angeles with gigi as the two set off for hollywood blvd. they run into some familiar faces and jackie begins to feel some comfort in california.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to all of jankie candle for being the best support and of course to meg for always being a wonderful beta as well as alex who is always an incredible beta and my favourite person on earth.

* * *

— *.✧

"I am ready," Jackie shouted upon hearing the loud knock at her door. 

She already knew that Gigi was waiting for her so they could go and stroll the tourist areas that the blonde felt were completely a necessity when visiting California.

She hummed as she turned off the TV channel that had been blasting throughout the apartment, then she grabbed her small purse and headed out the door, knowing that Gigi was right outside.

The second full day had officially passed in California and Jackie was slowly beginning to understand routine, and was comforted seeing all the food that was still left over from their cooking lessons from the previous night.

She missed her mother, she missed her father and the rest of her family, but getting to spend hours on end with Gigi certainly was not a bad thing. 

"Let's go," Gigi grinned, her helmet already in her left hand as they raced to her bike and they began to get into the swing of how it would end up working out.

Gigi would sit, Jackie would follow, she'd wrap her arms around the shorter woman's back and the blonde would make sure the Persian gave a thumbs up before Gigi would finally ignite the engine and ride off on the California streets. 

"All these palm trees," she yelled with a laugh as her boots relaxed against the exterior of the bike. Gigi paid close attention only to the road, though seeing Jackie out of the corner of her eye giggle or gasp at every new tree was one of the most cute and sweet things she'd ever witness.

Gigi had decided yesterday that there was absolutely no place more crowded, more California and more popular than Hollywood Blvd. 

There would certainly be enough payphones to ease Jackie's clouded mind, as well as an abundance of tourist activities and famous sites for the Persian to stroll around and see. 

_ I'm going to make sure she gets the most out of America that she can. _

— *.✧

Fifteen solid minutes of riding down the crowded streets found the two finally at the starting point of Hollywood Blvd. 

"We're here," Gigi called out to the Persian as she snapped a few pictures with her Kodak Instamatic camera, trying to save some memories for Jackie considering she hadn't brought much luggage with her. 

The Persian dusted down her knee length yellow dress, trying to keep it in pristine condition before she gazed at the mass scope of the street.

"This is… very big," Jackie managed to reply as she adjusted her white leather boots, trying to keep up with the blonde who knew the smartest thing to do was to just keep walking along the iconic four and a half mile long street. 

"It's quintessential California!" 

The Persian tried to hold on to Gigi's jacket sleeve as they navigated their way past the various and many people that overcrowded the street, especially on their side of the boulevard where Jackie began to notice all the engraved, bright pink stars below them. 

"Is this a common thing in America?" Jackie asked completely clueless as Gigi flashed a bright smile. She chuckled, amused as the two moved to the side of the street without as many people so they could stroll comfortably.

"Trust me, this is purely just a Los Angeles tourist thing," she whispered to the Persian who nodded, trying to still take in all of the authentic American experience whenever possible.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a payphone booth and gasped. She instinctively pulled down on Gigi's jacket as the shorter woman was almost sent crashing to the pavement before catching her balance.

"You alright?" She asked as Jackie pointed at the phone, immediately reaching for her wallet as she counted in her head the timezone conversion, realizing it was just about to pass nine in the evening for her family in Tehran.

"Oh shit the phone!" 

Gigi took off, grabbing Jackie's hand as they laughed, pushing through the slow walkers and various people who plagued the streets of Los Angeles in the early morning. 

They managed to make it before anyone could steal the payphone, and Jackie inserted twenty cents into the machine as Gigi stood idly as she looked around to make sure no one would try to mess around with the Persian.

Jackie gripped the wires, breathing heavily as she prayed that somehow her siblings would at least answer the phone.

_ There's at least ringing. _

"Hello?" The thick accent cut through the phone, and the Persian assumed that her family must've known it was an odd time for a phone call from god knows where.

The blonde felt a smile paint itself across her lips the moment she heard Jackie's beaming excitement, starting to speak in Farsi, and Gigi assumed that she managed to get through to her family.

The phone would only run for a minute and Jackie knew this as she would often pick up the tone in her voice and roll her eyes, trying to just break through that she was safe and in California and would call when she could.

Jackie hung up and sighed as she composed herself and smiled at Gigi, admitting that it had gone well and they knew she was at least safe and alive.

"They're okay?" 

"For now yes," Jackie responded with a pinch of uncertainty, not wanting to mention the fact that her mother mentioned there were talks of the Prime Minister resigning and running for the hills tomorrow. 

"That's all that matters, I'm happy you and your family are okay." 

Her head hung low as Gigi wrapped an arm around her back, she knew there wasn't much she could do except support the Persian. Jackie glanced around before pressing a kiss to her shoulder, the two of them unable to say or even do anything except grin at each other from time to time.

"Gigi!" The blonde heard a voice scream from the other side of the road, she turned trying to find where the voice was coming from before seeing a hand being raised by a distinct woman with glowing platinum blonde hair. 

Gigi gasped. "Jan," she shrieked as she held on to Jackie's hand as she quickly attempted to explain to the Persian that she was one of her best friends since middle school. 

Jan laughed seeing the blonde, completely going feral and pushing aside people to run into the blonde's arms. Jackie stood awkwardly smiling and waving at the other woman who had been standing right next to Jan.

She was completely radiant. 

Impeccable makeup, her hair long and resembling that of Donna Summer; Jackie didn't know much of American music but how could you not love such a global disco icon.

She wore denim bell bottoms fashioned with a white, flowing blouse. The outfit was pulled together by the white heels she had on as the two finally laughed and shook hands, introducing themselves to each other as the bubbly blonde next to her was still chatting up a storm with Gigi.

"Jaida," she introduced herself as Gigi furiously turned her head before she gasped and put two and two together as she blinked at Jan, who just laughed as she watched Gigi try and put the puzzle together.

"You two are  _ friends? _ " Her face and expression reading as something extremely different to what she was attempting to ask. 

Jaida eyed the woman beside her up and down before Jan snickered and rubbed her shoulders, biting down on her lip as she nodded to Gigi who gasped and gave a big smile, immediately hugging Jaida who was happy to introduce herself again.

Gigi had never been happier to see Jan out in the open and actually with a woman. Jaida seemed extremely caring and she was certainly beautiful to look at. She knew that her close friend was in good hands. 

"Who is this," Jan asked with a large grin, her finger pointing at the Persian as Gigi shook her head furiously at the connotation. Jackie was confused as the blonde lowly whispered that Jan was asking if they were a couple.

"Oh! No, no, just friends! I'm Jackie." 

"She's just a friend, she's staying at my dad's complex. She's from Iran." 

Jaida nodded, thanking Jackie for being so strong about the entire situation back in Iran. The Persian laughed, honoured but admitting that being a refugee didn't feel like she was being strong about anything. 

"I feel very weird but it's only been two days so I cannot say much," she explained as Jan gasped, immediately admitting she didn't think she had only been here for such a short amount of time.

"Your English is so great, girl I would've never even guessed it!" 

Gigi hummed as she rubbed her shoulder against her own, proud that Jackie was getting the recognition she deserved for her skills in English.

"I was a Linguistics student at our University in Iran before I left, so I'm glad that it helped me with coming to California, it's nice here." 

They all scoffed, the three of them unanimously agreeing that California was expensive and dreadful and only fun for holidays or a weekend. 

"It's been fun for the last two days," she admitted shyly before smiling at Gigi, who could only stay quiet as Jackie admitted that the blonde had been her help through this entire situation.

"Gigi is always helpful, I'm glad you're here with us," Jan's chipper tone made the pair smile as Jaida admitted that they were just strolling about trying to get out in the sun.

"Hey you know," Jan gently hit her partner's shoulder as Jaida laughed, not realizing that the blonde could punch so hard. "You two should come with us to the roller rink tonight, you already know we asked Crystal." 

"I don't know Jan—" 

"I love roller skating!" 

Their heads whipped to Jackie who was practically bursting at the seams at the simple idea of going roller skating with Gigi and her newly introduced friends. 

"I'm impressed," Gigi admitted with a chuckle before she slipped her hands in her pocket and shrugged. "If you wanna go then we'll go, Jackie." 

Jackie nodded immediately, grabbing Gigi's wrists and kissing her cheeks as was customary with any Middle Eastern greeting. Jan giggled in the background as the blonde chuckled and struggled to hide the red flush growing dark across her cheeks.

"Done deal." 

— *.✧

"This was such a bad idea," Gigi screamed at the end of her sentence as she almost flipped backward attempting to figure out how these four wheeled monstrosities worked. Crystal laughed as she and Jan each held one of her arms to make sure she stayed upright. 

Jackie truly meant it when she said she enjoyed roller skating, she was passing Gigi every thirty seconds and attempting to groove along to the music that blasted throughout the rink. 

Her posture was perfect, pushing lightly on the front of the skates as she navigated past the teenagers and adults who were closer to Gigi and just trying not to fall right on to the floor.

She would apply pressure on each foot and gain momentum as she attempted to keep the skating in time with the music tracks that played. Gigi was truly in awe, there was nothing Jackie couldn't do at this point. 

Jaida was also quite good on her own and would laugh at Jan, who was at least consistent in falling and trying to make an attempt to walk in the roller skates.

The Persian stopped in front of the blonde with a grin, holding out her hand for Gigi to take as Crystal gave her a firm push. The two of them slammed into each other, almost falling to the floor before Jackie held on to the collar of her jacket. 

"Sorry," she whispered quietly under all the disco lights and music as dozens skated past them, Gigi gently pushed away as to not get in trouble with any families who would gasp and purely start a scene in a rink at the idea of the two women attempting to hold each other, it had happened before and the blonde promised never again. 

"It's okay," the blonde replied as Jackie followed Gigi in pursuit, showing her all the basics of roller skating. She slowly began to pick up some steam as she would laugh at Jan, who had given up in favour of just walking around in the skates instead.

Crystal gave one final push to Gigi as she skated by before the blonde attempted to run after her in spite, though she quickly remembered how shit her skating skills were.

"Don't fall again please," Jackie giggled aloud as the music changed to a sweeping power ballad. Gigi had absolutely no sense of rhythm according to Jaida and she couldn't even begin to disagree when she tried to find a groove to a Bee Gees song. 

They skated for another half hour before the blonde had given up on Jackie trying to teach her. Frustrated she left the floor and went and sat on one of the indoor benches that were placed around the roller skate rink.

She unlaced her skates just as Crystal came over, gliding perfectly on the skates as she took the small space between the bench that was left.

"She's just trying to help you," the redhead explained as Gigi groaned, throwing her head in her hands as she admitted that she was just embarrassed and didn't want Jackie to have to keep reteaching the same three movements over and over. 

"Have you ever stopped and thought why she might be teaching you all of this?"

"No," she mustered out as Gigi stared up at Crystal who only cocked a brow, cackling and opening her arms in shock. 

"She's completely in love with you!" The redhead shouted in a whisper to not attract any unnecessary homophobia. The blonde covered her cheeks with her fingertips, attempting not to smile at the thought of the Persian being head over heels for Gigi.

The thought escaped her head as soon as it entered it, her body turning to Jackie who was still trying to teach Jan and Jaida some tricks on the rink. "It's been two days Crystal," her lips spoke in a saddened whisper. 

"Two days, but almost every hour of every day has been spent with you Gigi. If I was a refugee and didn't have anyone else to hang out besides an obnoxious biker chick, I would have to fall in love," Gigi smiled at the reply her best friend gave until hearing the last sentence and immediately hitting her in the stomach as Crystal gasped and laughed in pain.

"You knew it was coming!" 

"God you're a fucking prick." 

"You love me and you know it," Crystal bit down on her tongue as Gigi supposed she was right. She'd never have another best friend like Crystal again, another friend who made sure she was comfortable with kissing women and comfortable with her sexuality.

They had dated for a few months before they simply realized friendship would forever be the better option in every universe. Though Gigi was thankful that all of her first experiences and make out sessions were with the comfort of her calm, collected and caring best friend.

"I love you from a distance, as a friend and when you're not flashing your teeth at me." 

The two of them hugged as Crystal sighed in happiness. "Aren't you just the sweetest?" 

— *.✧

Gigi and Jackie said their goodbyes to the happy couple, and Crystal lounged around with them as they made their way out of the rink and over to the parking lot.

"I got the car tonight," the redhead waved her mother's keys with a devilish grin as Gigi shook her head. 

"We're going home, I'm not ready to get high and wake up in your bathtub again Crystal," she muttered under her breath before Jackie laughed, both amused and deeply concerned at what that story entailed. 

"See you guys tomorrow!" 

They waved goodbye before hopping back on to the bike, Gigi helping the Persian get on the back of the bike, holding her hand tightly before she felt that safety net around her back once more.

The ride was quieter than usual, the only sounds Gigi could hear were the engine and the occasional gentle breath let out at stoplights from Jackie's lips as she leaned up against the biker's back.

"Would you like to go back to my room?" 

The question was spoken just an inch too soft and loving for Gigi to possibly refuse.

"Of course." 

Jackie asked if she wanted another piece of the desert still left over from last night, to which Gigi almost jumped in excitement at the idea of eating that delicious, Middle Eastern pastry. 

Bringing two plates, Jackie flipped on the TV before the two of them sat in silence, occasionally glancing prolonged at one another with wide eyes and heavy breathing.

"Have you ever kissed a woman?" The question made Gigi choke, she would never expect such an out of character question for someone as well put together as Jackie. 

Gigi didn't know how to answer, she prayed it wasn't the Persian girl cornering her in to some homophobic outburst.

"I've never kissed a woman before," the Persian finally answered quietly as her hand wrapped around her curly hair, twirling the strands between her fingers as Gigi stared completely entranced at Jackie who was only staring back.

"That's perfectly understandable," her sentence barely even half way out before Jackie gently took her wrists and glanced right into her eyes.

"But I want to kiss a woman Gigi," she whispered quietly with the TV still playing the nightly news channel as the blonde completely felt every wall break and crumble beneath her. 

"I'll kiss you," the reply came softly as Jackie nodded and asked for permission to kiss her. Gigi had to laugh, even if she greatly appreciated the obvious importance of consent to Jackie.

"It would be an honour Jacqueline." Gigi grinned, licking her lips as Jackie bit down on her lip with a giggle. 

Their lips pressed together as Gigi's fingers slipped through the Persian's hair, trying to gain some kind of hold as they laid with Jackie's back pressed against the arm of the couch. 

Kissing her was utter  _ heaven _ . 

Gigi finally cracked the code: God was a woman and her name was Jackie Cox. 

Every desire and suggestive thought she had the last two days felt completely validated and only grew stronger, seeing as they were going to town making out with one another. 

_ I hope this never ends. _

Gigi would've never in two million years expect that the first woman she would've made out with, besides Crystal, would be a refugee who was living in one of her dad's own apartments, but she sure wasn't picky.

The Persian held Gigi by her waist as she took the chance and gently slid her lips down to Jackie's neck, completely in the moment. 

"No, no, no," Jackie instantaneously pushed away the American girl who frowned, apologising almost immediately after the words left the Persian's lips.

"I'm sorry Jackie, I didn't mean to push—" 

"Don't say sorry, it's okay, I'm just not ready for that  _ yet _ ." 

_ Yet. _

Jackie was impressed that she could even get through kissing a woman with all the religious and cultural hymns replayed constantly on a loop in her head. 

She was not even close to ready to sleep with a woman, every memory of her home country and the propaganda and innocents murdered were fresh and far too clear in her mind. 

"That's perfectly okay," Gigi's eyes fluttered nervously as Jackie pushed back the stray pieces of hair that framed her face. The blonde's smile returned as the Persian cleared her throat. 

"I want to kiss you again Gigi…" 

Gigi's heart raced. The idea of having any woman, especially Jackie, begging to kiss her again seemed almost far too divine of a concept. 

_ But she did ask… who am I to possibly say no? _

The blonde hummed as she held Jackie's arms against the couch with a grin painted across her cherry red lipstick.

"I'm all yours baby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy and tumblr is @leljaaa as always xx comments much appreciated!


	4. she lit up a candle and she showed me the way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jackie begins to feel herself collapse under all the pressure of the iranian revolution and gigi just wants to help anyway she can. her idea of help however, might prove not to be the best idea. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you jankie candle for all the support and it needed to be added after this last episode: I write jackie because she's my favourite and because she's my representation and this fic (though completely gay as shit) is for showing how important middle eastern history is and how complicated and awful the situation was for jackie's family or any persian at that time. I lost so much confidence and pride after that maddening question jeff asked jackie and writing this made me realize that this story is powerful purely for the fact I'm even getting this message to an audience. do your research, take some time to understand that anyone middle eastern has been fighting to be in america and has been discriminated for decades: this unfortunately isn't something new to america. 

— *.✧

One week had officially passed since Jackie had stepped foot on to the soil of the United States. One week since the day she landed in Los Angeles, utterly horrified from what was going on back home in Iran as the revolution exploded, as she took to the city with only a single suitcase and all of her savings. 

A deer in the headlights; she had begun to get adjusted to the timezones, to the activities, her English had only gotten better and better bit by bit yet her anxiety had only worsened.

The morning after her and Gigi's first makeout session she found herself on a cloud of euphoria, before she finally fell back on Earth as she listened to the radio in her room. 

The words that left the lips of the announcer made her drop the mug she held before she saw it break into dozens of decent sized pieces on the floor. 

_ "Prime Minister Jamshid Amouzegar resigns; his successor, Jafar Sharif-Emami, undertakes reforms…" _

"Shit…کُس نگو." 

However, all of the difficulties aside there was a shining moment of light despite the current events happening right before her: one week since she kissed Gigi in a spur of the moment decision.

Jackie was thrilled that it had become somewhat of a routine for the both of them.

The blonde would lean against her door before they would go on their much anticipated daily ride's together on Gigi's bike. A subtle and sneaky kiss placed across her lips when the Persian would open the door and see her friend right in front of her. 

Gigi would grab her wrist whenever Jackie walked down past the recreational building that both her and Crystal worked at and spent most of their time on the weekdays in. 

The redhead would snicker and keep an eye for any passing people and Jackie would brush their lips together, Gigi happy to steal a million and more kisses from the Persian who came to enjoy the danger and surprise of kissing in public any moment they got.

A simple shove would do if they heard footsteps, even if most of the time it was just Crystal being nosy and wanting to run around the hallways like a toddler. 

_ "It's my exercise!"  _ She would scream as she attempted every gymnastics trick possible with Jackie giggling, before they decided that keeping the kissing to a minimum unless they were inside of the Persian's complex would be the best idea.

Another growing evening saw Gigi inside of Jackie's apartment, watching her get dressed and style her abundance of curly hair. 

"An endless supply of Kaftans," Gigi grinned as she stared up and down Jackie's body finding it interesting she managed to fit so much into that tiny, blue suitcase. These flowing, light-weight garments had become somewhat of a brand with Jackie.

The Persian rolled her eyes.

"It is all I wear," she joked with a wink as she tied it with a belt across the waist, knowing that they were probably going to once again go riding. 

It had become their new sacred activity, along with baking and cooking together; Gigi was happy beyond words to be Jackie's taste tester and help with every miniscule task in the kitchen. 

"You look hot, I'm not saying anything against it," Gigi replied as she stood up and wrapped her arms around Jackie's waist, the two of them swayed in silence hearing only the faint blare of radio from outside. 

They couldn't  _ possibly _ be a  _ thing _ .

Jackie was far too focused on the revolution and all of the idiotic responses from the American government attempting to "help" the people and the government. 

She was worried about her family, her friends, her entire life—she feared every passing minute that she might never get to return to Tehran.

It was also the seventies: this wasn't the era to come out, despite all the sexual revolutions that had begun the decade before; it was a death wish to be gay or lesbian or trans or  _ anyone  _ who was different. Especially considering the growing anti-Iranian sentiments that grew in the United States.

They  _ couldn't _ be together.

Gigi understood. She knew that Jackie had a plan to be in Canada with close family and that she would most likely never see her again; she was on the run and the blonde tried to enjoy as much time with the Persian as physically possible.

She kissed her long and slow, Jackie always returned the favour and would find her arms snaked around the blonde's neck or waist, just attempting to live in this little safe haven she had built with Gigi over the past week. 

"You want to go and get some food? Your fridge is looking just a little empty." 

"If it is not a bother with you to make the stop." 

"You're never a bother," Gigi mumbled before kissing her forehead as she grabbed her hands, interlocking them as they began to race once again to the blonde's house just across her complex.

Gigi hopped on to her bike, inserting the key in the ignition of the motorcycle. She turned on the fuel petcock before she turned the key to the ignition. Jackie jumped on behind her, her arms around her partner's waist before the blonde began to ride off out to the familiar streets once again.

— *.✧

"How is it back home? I heard about some stuff on TV and wanted to check on you earlier," she whispered near her earlobe as Jackie winced, not wanting to even give it the time of day currently.

"It is not something I wish to think about at the moment…" Jackie admitted with a somber tone as she picked up three entire bundles of spinach. The blonde nodded in response, apologising, though the Persian chuckled with a bright smile growing across her lips.

"Don't apologise for this, none of it is your fault. I appreciate you trying to stay educated and up to date for me." 

Gigi grabbed two entire bars of chocolate with a slight smirk plastered across her face. She didn't want to admit to Jackie that she truly couldn't care less about politics until the day they had met. 

The blonde was far too young and dumb to even know half of the vocabulary used, but seeing Jackie every single second of her life fighting to even stay alive and not get beat up on the street, not get heckled or screamed at - it was powerful. 

_ I was so sheltered and normal my whole life, I didn't even realize that this stuff can even happen in America so frequently. _

She truly hadn't felt herself become so well educated in politics since having to pass her senior year exam on the American government and current economic system. Crystal had always pushed her to become more and more educated even as they both would skip to the bleachers and smoke every cigarette possible, watching the jocks run miles on the track.

_ "I'm Mexican, I have to see all of this criticism on TV, I'm not just going to ignore it. I live my life truthfully and speak up, I suggest you do the same."  _

Crystal's words had always hit hard and now they felt like a punch right in the stomach when she would kiss Jackie. 

"Do you possibly need any more sweets?" The Persian teased as she noticed half of their basket filled with American candy and deserts. 

"Don't test me," the two of them giggled as they headed for the check out, Jackie bit down on her lip as Gigi added one more sweet to the basket, noticing the judging look from the Persian beside her. 

"How very dare you." 

— *.✧

The two walked out as they managed to successfully collect all of the groceries in two plastic bags, Jackie squatted down as she began to tie them to the throttles of the motorcycle and Gigi leaned against the front of her bike, paying no mind as the sun began to set across California.

There was a light conversation between two men and the Persian girl, the blonde feeling a heavy uneasiness build in her stomach as she looked away, trying not to look completely and utterly defensive of her friend. 

Her fingers slipped in her back pocket, a slight relief building over her as she realized her pocket knife was still present in case of any funny situation.

She heard Jackie yelp and turned immediately on impact of hearing the noise realizing that some asshole decided it would be absolutely hilarious if besides the subtle catcalling they would grab her wrists and try to touch her. 

"Leave her alone," Gigi yelled with firm anger, her fingertips fixated on her collar as the two men made eye contact and only ignored her, as if she was a brick wall.

_ I know I look young but Jesus. _

"I said leave my partner alone you fucking prick," she yelled seeing the clear level of discomfort build across Jackie's face as she walked over to them, kicking the one male right in the shin as he crumbled beneath her. 

_ Partner… shit. _

"On the bike,  _ now _ ," was all Gigi muttered before she spit on the man beneath her, beginning to walk back to her motorcycle before the other man; far bigger and stronger than she was dug his fingers into her wrists—she was pulled back to where she had been standing as the older man took a punch right at her eye.

"Fucking lesbo," he muttered as Gigi bit her lip, feeling both men get up and laugh about how weak and pathetic the blonde was. 

She could hear Jackie scream but the blonde was absolutely determined she wasn't going to let her guard down. She had utterly snapped upon hearing their response, knowing her choices were to either let them win this fight or leave them absolutely regretting they ever even touched her or Jackie. 

_ I'll go with the second option. _

Gigi grabbed the pocket knife from her back pocket before she slit the leg of the man in front of her, Jackie gasped as she covered her mouth. The blonde kicked his knee cap before hearing something crack as he collapsed to the concrete.

All of this and yet no one had even tried to stop them or noticed. 

"Fucking prick," she screamed in utter prolific disdain as she sent the other one to the ground, the two of them fumbling. The final straw had been one of them attempting to apologise as his hands strayed down to her hips. 

_ "Your girlfriend is pretty but I can definitely change your mind."  _

She felt absolutely no remorse as she stabbed him in the shoulder, kicking him to the ground as she bolted for her bike. 

Jackie grabbed the knife, putting it back in the blonde's pocket as her entire body seemed to be shaking, Gigi wiped the blood off of her cheek as she started up the bike again.

The two men were left completely crushed and down on their luck and the blonde could only keep silent as they rode off back to the complex.

"Gigi," she whispered at a stoplight, feeling the cool wind against her hair as the blonde stood silent. "Can we talk about all of that?" 

That entire ten minutes felt like three hours and Jackie was more horrified about Gigi's injuries than anything else. The blonde made the turn to the familiar street.

"Not now."

— *.✧

_ Narrowly escaped a homophobic attack, what an American dream. _

Jackie stared down at her fingers, swallowing a breath as she realized that there were still a few scratches and bruises that showed up across her skin. She hadn't been hurt even an inch as bad as the blonde beside her.

Gigi sighed, inhaling her cigarette as she stood in the doorway of the old and deserted barn that her father wanted to transform into another recreational center.

"Gigi, you can't just punch people and throw them to the ground like that…" 

The blonde fidgeted with her burnt out cigarette as she blew out the puff of smoke near the cascading scene of rain unfolding in front of the two. "He was yelling too loud," Gigi said cooly as she leaned against the chipped away, red exterior wall. 

"Not to mention he was being a fucking prick." 

"Gigi I don't appreciate violence, that's the thing I fled in the first place from," Jackie yelled, frustrated, as she glanced at the younger woman's purple and blue bruise that was beginning to show up under her eye as Gigi rolled her eyes.

"You don't have to keep staring at my bruise, I'll be fine. I hope that fucking dick suffers with his broken knee cap. Regardless of where you came from, the violence in this situation was justified." 

"I'm not going against the first rule of my religion," the Persian hissed as she threw her friend's dead cigarette butt straight in the scene of heavy rain as the American gasped, explaining that she had just littered.

"What are your parents going to say?" 

"I will handle this, nothing some makeup can't fix. If not, I'll just say it was a riding accident!" 

The older woman's stomach twisted: she didn't even want to even think about what plan Gigi had to try and explain this situation to her parents.

Jackie brushed her fingertips past the bruise as they were both left breathless and staring into each other's eyes. The rain poured, but every ounce of focus was on the Persian's dark brown and hypnotic pupils that seemed to grow at the sight of their exchange.

"Gigi..." she choked out in a hoarse whisper as her fingers slid into the blonde's wavy hair. She was currently unable to communicate the growing feeling buried at the pit of her stomach in any language.

_ I want you so bad, I need you. _

"Kiss me, we're all alone Jackie," Gigi desperately replied as both of the girls flushed, not wanting to currently think about all of the homophobia raging around the world.

It was almost the eighties, a new turn of the decade; there had to be some grand development of human rights with Stonewall and all the protests and small legal action passed to protect LGBTQ citizens.

Right now it was just the two girls and a rabbit hopping about near them on the grass patch as they stood in complete silence. Jackie pushing away the minute Gigi leaned in to kiss her. 

"We will be targeted more than ever," Jackie worriedly cried out, halfway to the verge of tears as Gigi shook her head instantaneously. The Persian grabbed the blonde's collar with her hands as she stared up and down the gently blood-stained pastel motorcycle outfit. 

"I will protect you, I won't ever let anybody hurt you," her words crisp and honest and pointed with every emotion, knowing this might be the only chance they would get to genuinely confess their feelings and utter devotion.

Jackie was never one to make a spur of the moment decision, but the minute their lips pressed against each other, she felt every worry of her life and the revolution melt away.

She can't put a finger on exactly what was making her act so odd and completely puddle over the blonde but it hit all too suddenly as they locked lips, Jackie tugging at the blonde's hair.

_ I'm in love with her… I'm in love with Gigi.  _

This was a growing cultural difference that the Persian had begun to notice since she moved to California for the time being and since she watched every movie or show that played on the television. 

American's would say "I love you," constantly. 

It was used for just about anyone and every situation. Jackie had no idea if it was just a compliment in the western world or if it was truly the intimate word and expression that she had grown up knowing was saved  _ only _ for the moment something clicked.

Jackie knew that  _ this _ had to be  _ that _ special moment. Everything clicked.

The blondes lips tasted like cigarettes and cherry chapstick; Jackie was never so turned on by such an odd combination in her life. 

Every possible butterfly rapidly bounced in their stomachs as they kissed, acting as if it was the end of the world about to hit and this would be the last time. 

Gigi was completely in a euphoric state of mind as she grabbed Jackie's waist and began snaking her lips to her neck. Her lipstick lightly smeared across the Persian's skin as she heard her friend yelp in surprise.

They grabbed each other's hand tightly as Jackie admitted that they should probably not be doing all of this so out in the open, right outside the complexes.

"Your room… please," the three worded response enough to make the Persian completely fly by as she grabbed Gigi's hand gigging, running past the fields as they shushed each other and entered the hallway of Jackie's floor from the back door. 

Jackie couldn't possibly open her door fast enough for Gigi's sake as they silently retreated into her room. The blonde did a long and hard take of the hallway making sure nobody saw them enter the room. 

Locking the door, she whipped around to the blonde who was waiting to kiss her once again. Their lips smashing together as Jackie pushed aside every awful and anxiety-ridden thought from her brain.

_ I can't wallow in negativity for the rest of my life. _

_ I need this. _

Every thought immersed in getting to be in sync with each other's bodies and the idea of kissing each other all night alone and in secret. 

"Your lips are so soft," Gigi grunted as the two continued to kiss, Jackie impatiently unbuttoned her biker jacket as she tossed it across the floor. 

Every dream she had of the two of them ending up together suddenly was worth the pull as the Persian huffed, carefully trying to choose her words.

"My… my bed," the words slipped from the Persian's mouth as they both panted, breathing heavy from both the running and the make out session, Gigi going in to kiss her again as she stopped and tilted her head a bit confused.

"What?" 

"I want you in bed with me Gigi!" 

Jackie almost shouted the response as the blonde gasped, pressing a finger to the other woman's mouth as they both realized they needed to be a bit more conservative with the loud declarations of love in a complex.

"Stay the night." 

The reply came in the form of Gigi jumping into Jackie's arms, the Persian shrieked in worry of dropping the shorter woman before she got a good grip on Gigi who was surprisingly light.

"You look so beautiful," she complimented as they became a continuous stream from Gigi as they both made their way to Jackie's bedroom. 

The blonde tossed her partner's jacket to the floor, their lips still focused on one another as they naturally seemed to collapse to the bed.

_ Holy shit.  _

Everything seemed light and easy from that point on—both of them in awe of each other and trying not to shout out each other's names every two seconds. 

Jackie's thoughts occasionally strayed to what her religious and Middle Eastern family would possibly think of her enjoying herself intimately with Gigi. However, thinking about it while you simultaneously are making your partner moan your own name probably wasn't the smartest idea.

_ I won't let their disapproval define me.  _

_ Especially not when I'm about to frivolously pound Gigi into the ground. _

— *.✧

"Wow," Gigi whispered in complete awe as she felt her leg brush up against the Persian's. 

Jackie's fingers ran down Gigi's bare skin as the blonde gently laid her head in the crook of her neck, occasionally kissing her jaw, trying not to think about all the hickeys or even worse, all the internalized homophobia.

"I never thought I would love a woman again…" 

"I never thought I'd get to actually sleep with one," Gigi laughed aloud as they gently brushed lips, turning on her side so that Jackie could wrap her arms around the blonde. 

The Persian giggled, unable to hold back her pure enjoyment of the entire situation. 

"Would my words be cheap if I said that I'm completely in love with you?" Gigi finally asked as she felt Jackie breathe out a heavy sigh. Whether it was one of disappointment or relief was something that the blonde couldn't exactly pinpoint.

"Love is a strong word for you to use so soon," was all Jackie could say even if she was being utterly and completely hypocritical.

"But it's the truth Jackie," Gigi whispered softly as she attempted not to break and keep her cool and composed facade. 

"I don't want your heart broken when I leave eventually," the Persian finally managed to choke out as she kept her fingers tangled in the blonde's hair. "I don't want us to regret being in love." 

"You're the only person I've ever said that to, do you really think I'd regret it?" Gigi asked seriously as she laid beside her lover, completely in a limbo between heaven and hell.

Jackie shook her head, impressed to hear that Gigi had never said it before to anyone, though that only proved to make the Persian's heart grow twice the size it already was.

"I love you as well Gigi," she finally mumbled as her lips pressed against her cheek. The blonde left a gentle kiss on her mouth before she cackled, hearing Jackie tell her to stop before she would get ideas again.

_ This is dangerous... and yet I'm enjoying every second of it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy and tumblr is @leljaaa as always xx thank you alex for being my favourite beta and person ever! 


	5. this could be heaven or this could be hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jackie is beginning to struggle with her own anxiety and worry about the situation at home while gigi seems to be in nothing but an utter euphoria. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my serious comment this week: all the xenophobia I've had in my inbox makes me giggle. I genuinely hope people are uncomfortable reading this because guess what? this happened, this happened to people like jackie's mom and this revolution was only made worse by american sentiment and western media. I hope you all get educated and realize I'm allowed to write about my own culture and jackie, my representation as much as I damn please xx 
> 
> thank you jankie candle for all the support and to meg for being my wonderful beta! I hope you all enjoy and tumblr is @leljaaa as always xx

— *.✧

Three fateful days had passed since Gigi and Jackie had officially slept with one another.

Jackie kept track, it was something of importance to her.

It was definitely a bold move on both of their parts but especially the Persian who was still the refugee, the one who would be twice as targeted for it, the one who would take all of the blunt force and trauma as the news would roll in more and more about the revolution.

Gigi was in utter heaven knowing that she had no restrictions as long as they were alone or decently private and away from everyone else though Crystal caught on rather quickly and it was only natural Jan was told, the blonde smiled wide and gasped the minute the other had told her over the phone.

They giggled softly like high schoolers once again even if in the back of their head they knew that this was not a good idea for either Gigi or Jackie. 

Being in love.

Not just being in love but being in love with a refugee from Iran, being hopelessly devoted to Jackie who still had that ticket to Canada set in stone. Gigi attempted to simply convince herself that the eighties would be better and that all of Jackie’s internalized homophobia would eventually cease when the revolution died down.

_ It has to end eventually doesn’t it? _

The American only hoped innocently for things to return as they were as she slowly engulfed herself more and more into the politics of Iran so Jackie would not feel so damn outcast and alone. She was not perfect but it was a step, one that the Persian beside her appreciated leaps and bounds.

Every endeavour together ended with a long and loving kiss before Gigi would become flustered and watch Jackie chuckle at the red speckles across her cheeks. 

She awoke gently to mumbled newscasters going on and on about the current headlines as she realized she had fallen asleep on the couch by mistake. She wished she had fallen asleep with Jackie instead. 

“I don’t care,” she groaned out as she took a sip from the already opened can of Pepsi that sat on the coffee table beside the arm of the brown couch. Her fingers tapped every button possible before she reached an international headline that made her eyes widen.

_ “Breaking news...On the morning after the Shah declared martial law, security forces fired on a large protest in Tehran’s Jaleh Square. At least 100 have been killed as the revolution continues…”  _

Gigi jumped up as she instantly raced for the door, not caring that she was still in her outfit from last night; Jackie was the only thing on her mind constantly but hearing the news only made her twice as ridden with horror not even being able to imagine what the Perisan felt. 

Running down the field as she skipped a long to the complex beside her home did not feel one bit weird, she needed to see how Jackie was doing even in her dusty old dress from the night before where they had managed to make hummus, Gigi failing terribly though the Persian saved the day and made it delightful.

“It’s me,” the blonde yelled as she knocked twice on the wooden door, her lips unknowingly curling into a smile the moment she heard Jackie’s muffled talking from the other side. The door opened as the Persian smiled gently, her eyes utterly red and stained with tears.

_ She definitely knows what happened. _

The Persian pulled her friend into her current home as she sniffled, hands on her hips as Gigi tugged her sleeves and opened her arms. Jackie grinned with a snicker as she felt herself happily drop 

“I ran down the hallway as soon as I heard,” she admitted in a faint mumble as Jackie kissed her lips, not wanting to even think about what was currently going on. Gigi was her favourite distraction from her own issues and problems, she would use that to her advantage. 

The blonde smirked, always happy to kiss the Persian even if it was more for personal reasons than to be romantic. Her hands dropped down to her waist as she enjoyed the impromptu make out session as best as she could. 

Jackie hummed, admitting that this had been an awful day but somehow Gigi managed to take all of the pain away. It was a harsh reality that the Persian had to live with but somehow her happiness came perfectly on time in the form of a slightly shorter, blonde biker with the cutest smile and best one liners. 

“I’m convinced we can solve world peace by just kissing quietly,” the Persian smiled as Gigi cackled, nodding her head at the statement. 

“Kissing you is like heaven, what can I say?” Gigi mumbled against her lips as Jackie grinned slightly, never one to reject a kiss from her the blonde. Her fingers gently ran through her hair, twirling strands of the curls as the Persian wrapped her arms around her neck.

It was always going to be difficult for Jackie to take in all of these strong, new feelings towards the blonde for multiple reasons but she was simply attempting to win the war against herself and her own preconceived notions. 

_ Just because I am in love with a woman does not make me any less of a human being or any less of a Persian. _

They sat on Jackie’s bed together, listening to the birds who chirped outside on the trees as the both of them were silent, tangled together and holding each other. 

__ “Do you want to go riding together? I can take you for some very overpriced, very mediocre ice cream,” Gigi asked against her skin as Jackie couldn’t help but smile wide and nod her head, entranced. 

“I would love to.”

— *.✧

“This is quite nice, do you really find it that awful?” Jackie asked curiously as she licked her pistachio ice cream beside the blonde who seemed to instantaneously devour her mint chocolate chip ice cream in the span of three minutes.

“I think it’s fine just not worth ten dollars but consider this a date,” she winked as the two rubbed shoulders, strolling down the neverending beach and sand that plagued the coastline. 

Jackie shrugged, gently beginning to bite her cone curiously as she sighed in relief. She had never lived near a beach her entire life so being near a beach felt like a privilege. 

“Do you come here often? The weather is quite lovely, I am surprised no one else is here besides us and the one woman we saw a few minutes ago,” Jackie asked aloud before Gigi shook her head, admitting that Hollywood Beach was never of interest to her unless Crystal and Jan wanted to spend the day in the water or attempt to surf. 

“I have never been a huge beach person and I was born at the hospital in Long Beach, a coastal city we have here in the state; the utter irony.”

The Persian sighed in relief as she stared out at the open ocean, wandering if her family was okay as Gigi pressed a kiss to her neck, interlocking their hands tightly as Jackie nervously shook her head, clasping her own hands together.

“Jackie…”

“Not in public,” she whispered, the blonde sighed as she knew that from the beginning it was Jackie’s biggest rule and fear. Gigi beating up and stabbing the two men outside the grocery store a few days ago did not help this sentiment.

“I love you,” she mumbled quietly as the waves crashed onto the shore, their feet becoming wet with the cold Pacific ocean beneath them as Jackie mouthed the words back not skipping a beat. 

The Middle Eastern woman stared off into the distance, finding herself stuck in a constant day dream about being back home in Iran, even with the ongoing revolution and then the fantasy of staying in California with Gigi and living the rest of her life by her side. 

They spent another two hours laughing aloud on the beach and strolling aimlessly before the heat became unbearable and they wanted to leave and go back to an air conditioned room.

“Do you want to spend the night with me?” Jackie asked out of the blue as they made their way back to Gigi’s motorcycle. The blonde smirked, knowing exactly what that would entail as she nodded heavily.

“That would be perfect,” She added as Jackie hopped up on the bike behind her, arms once again around her back tightly as Gigi took off for the ride back home.

Jackie attempted to focus on all the palm trees or the colorful buildings that molded her vision of California however nothing was being played except that damn headline.

Over and  _ over. _

Slowly the revolution grew not only more violent but to a larger international scale, she had to see the news from American outlets and not her own family though Jackie assumed hearing it from home would only be worse.

She had not yet gotten the chance to call her family but planned to do so the next time they went out early or late at night, time zone conversions had become the biggest bitch of all.

Jackie felt lost, she knew Gigi was attempting to at least get a grip on politics and stay informed on the revolution but it did not feel the same as speaking to her best friends or university classmates or family.

Everything she attempted to say felt lost in English, she felt five times dumber and knew that even though everyone complimented her consistently on her well spent degree and her skills in the language she was still the outsider.

Not just the outsider but the  _ Persian _ outsider.

She was currently the butt of the joke, the insults were all directed her way and she simply had to keep a straight face against all of the accusations and comments.

_ "My mother didn't raise me to yell at uneducated street rats,"  _ she would tell Gigi as hecklers would pass by them on the streets, cussing out Jackie who definitely looked Persian  _ enough _ to get long stares or subtle glances consistently.

And now, she wasn't just Persian she was a Persian in love with a woman.

Her lips were utterly sealed to her family when it came to the matter of Gigi and her current endeavour and relationship with the blonde. 

She simply said that she had met some good American friends around her age that were helping her explore California.

_ Who knew I would be deep in exploring things besides America. _

Jackie simply tried not to think about it though that always proved impossible considering her entire status and story in America was that she was a "helpless" refugee from Iran.

Crystal occasionally spoke to her in comfort, admitting that seeing her mother who had immigrated from Mexico to California almost two decades ago for a better life still being teased simply for being her the moment they left the comfort of Los Angeles or Hollywood was unbearable to hear.

_ I deserve to be here just as much as someone who was born here.  _

Gigi parked the motorcycle and turned off the ignition as she gently hopped off, holding Jackie's hand as she dusted down the red romper Crystal had gifted her with a smile. 

"You look good in that, so much better than Crystal did," the blonde flirted as Jackie snickered, unable to hold back her laughter upon hearing the comment. 

Almost as if on cue the two of them saw the redhead in the distance, across Gigi's house waving in her floral printed Hawiian shirt as Jackie gestured her over.

The blonde cocked a brow, a bit disappointed that they wouldn't be alone as planned though she couldn't possibly complain if their company was her best friend. 

"You look so great," Crystal chirped as she adjusted the sleeves for the Persian girl, Gigi grinned in utter heaven staring at Jackie as the redhead snapped her best friend out of the trance.

"We get it you think Jackie is hot," she groaned aloud quietly as the blonde rolled her eyes, punching her shoulder teasingly as Jackie gave a bright smile and pushed her hair back.

"So lovebirds, are you going back to Jackie's place to hang?" 

"That was the plan." 

Jackie nodded before asking if Crystal would like to join them for some drinks and food for at least an hour or two.

"So polite, I love it," Crystal winked before Gigi coughed wildly, feeling her jealous side begin to peak as she watched the redhead make an attempt to flirt. 

Jackie shushed Gigi as the Mexican girl admitted that she could stay for an hour but no more because she had some more work to do for the recreational center.

"Oh shut up, my dad loves you, he's not going to care if you take a few hours off especially not with me." 

Admitting defeat, Crystal raised her arms and laughed as she followed the couple back to Jackie's place. The three of them shuffled towards the hallway before the Persian gently opened the door and let Crystal and Gigi enter first, snagging a kiss from the blonde as she walked through the doorway.

"Would you like anything to drink or eat Crystal?" Jackie asked as she opened the fridge, grabbing the bottle of tequila that Gigi had managed to steal from the grocery store a few days ago. 

"Your girlfriend is so wonderful Gigi," she teased obnoxiously before giving a thumbs up at the tequila bottle. The blonde scoffed, kissing Jackie's forehead as she grabbed the glasses. 

"I've never seen Gigi so speechless, I'm so impressed Jackie," the younger woman admitted as the Persian heard Gigi mumble something along the lines of  _ "I'm speechless every night you just don't get to hear it."  _

Crystal laughed as Jackie gently grabbed her lover's chin, whispering at her in Farsi to stop speaking so dirty in front of her own friend; somehow expecting for Gigi to understand a lick of what she was saying. 

"I don't know what you said but I'm completely turned on right now," she whispered as they pressed their lips together, grinning wildly as Jackie gave Crystal the tequila bottle.

"Cheers to being single!" She awkwardly added aloud as she shotgunned the tequila she had poured. Gigi frowned, defending her best friend and saying that eventually she would find someone.

"I thought I did but clearly she had other plans," Crystal admitted bitterly as Jackie widened her eyes in shock, a bit confused though both her and Gigi turned their attention to Crystal.

"Jaida is happy where she is now, I won't blame her or Jan," the minute the words left Crystal's lips Jackie gasped in shock.

"You and Jaida? I had no idea I'm so sorry," the Persian mumbled as she rubbed Crystal's shoulders for comfort. 

"It was only a few months, don't worry about it, of course you had no idea obviously." 

"I did not know about this either," Gigi replied a bit angry as Crystal bit her tongue anxiously in front of her best friend, apologising for the long held secret.

"So is that why you two were avoiding conversation at the rink?" 

Crystal nodded in silence.

"You will find that person, your soulmate; trust me, it might be in the most unexpected situations," Jackie added sweetly as she smiled at Gigi, gazing at her lover towards the end of her sentence. 

_ "Oh so I'm your soulmate? How romantic,"  _ Gigi mouthed as Jackie stuck out her tongue and rolled her eyes.

"I was really in love, what a shame." She hummed before adding that she and Jan had no bad blood about it, it was simply just a lost cause to fight about it at this point. 

Jackie could understand, Jaida was extremely attractive and seemed sweet, grounded and intelligent and quite the catch especially for girls as bubbly and extroverted as Jan and Crystal. 

"Never say never," Gigi hummed. "In my heart of hearts if you want the truth I still think she's in love with you and not Jan. Give it a solid month or two and I think she will realize that you're the one." 

Crystal and Jackie looked beyond interested to how the blonde had come to that conclusion so quickly after just two minutes ago she said that Jan was Jaida's perfect match. 

"I might love Jan and think they're cute but I saw her staring at you when you were skating, I'm not stupid." 

Jackie ran a hand through her partner's hair as she offered Crystal some food she had prepared last night. 

The redhead shook her head, attempting to hide the permanent frown painted across her face.

"No thank you, I'll stick to the alcohol." 

— *.✧

Jackie smiled as she felt Gigi wrap her arms around her waist and pull her closer in the bed, the two of them beginning to become sleepy after all the physical activity they had just done to say the very least.

"You're perfect," Gigi mumbled as the Persian beside her flushed not knowing how to genuinely respond to a compliment of such high praise. 

"I believe you are also perfect," Jackie finally responded as she ran her fingertip's through Gigi's long, blonde hair as she occasionally planted a kiss near her earlobe.

"So I'm your soulmate?" The American teased beside her before Jackie groaned, admitting that maybe it was a strong choice of words for them only being together for barely two weeks.

"It was beautiful, I almost teared up," Gigi admitted as she tilted Jackie's head back to her own so she could gaze into her eyes.

"My English improves bit by bit," she joked before Gigi shut her lips with another kiss, the two of them giddy and gently melting into every affectionate gesture. 

"I hope you never leave," the blonde whispered as she laid her head on Jackie's bare chest with a permanent smile planted on her mouth as she closed her eyes, ready to sleep.

Jackie swallowed her breath, unable to even speak on the matter. 

"Goodnight Gigi," she said as she turned off the lamp beside her before running her hands through her partner's hair once again, thinking about all that had managed to happen these past two weeks. 

_ I have to leave but I will keep quiet about that for now. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments always appreciated :) !!!


	6. we are all just prisoners here of our own device

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jackie begins to realise just how turbulent her own emotions are becoming. crystal realises that she needs to finally step up to the plate and be honest with jaida and jackie gets a surprise that only further hinders her stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so it's been quite a minute but it's been a wild journey as some of you guys know but feeling good and out of the hospital slump so finally feel well enough to post the new chapter !!! I apologise it took so long but I needed a break and then I got sick and it went downhill ahaha but I promise, this fic means a lot to me and I am not just deserting it.

— *.✧

There was a specific feeling that lingered anytime Jackie would be left alone; it usually happened with Gigi right asleep, next to her, safe and sound. 

Everything about her life seemed to be immediately and rapidly changing—she was discovering herself in ways she never expected and all of this was happening because of one specific woman.

The resignation of the prime minister seemed to explode the revolution further and further, citizens were now beginning the divide of anger and celebration not knowing possibly what could be next.

Jackie sighed. 

America was not doing any better especially when it came to the treatment and slandering of the various Iranian refugees and immigrants coming for a better attempt at life.

She had known since the day she secured her ticket to California that it would always come with the sacrifice and pain of knowing she was an outsider, that she was beneath everyone in the country just because of where she was born.

The yelling and the threats had only seemed to become worse and worse the longer the Persian woman's stay had become. 

The message was definitely clear and in the air: she didn't belong here. Jackie was an unwelcome guest in a country that thrived off of discrimination and taking brainwashed orders from the few who were in power and all white, successful and all men.

Jackie knew that soon she would have to leave California: soulmate or not. 

All the discussions that took place in her rented out bed with Gigi, huddled close with their cheeks red and their soft and mushy whispering would stay there.

There was an incomparable energy she felt around Gigi, of course, the two had certainly bonded on every level they could however that didn't mean anything to all of the internalized issues brewing at the back of Jackie's head. 

"I have to find a ticket out somehow, to Canada if I can," she whispered to herself as she poured the pomegranate tea in her orange mug. 

She couldn't possibly go back to Iran.

"We'll see what is cheapest." 

Every day that passed made Jackie feel somehow weaker and weaker in her own body. 

Being with Gigi was wonderful until she was alone with her own thoughts at night, often in the dark as the subtle noises of the muffled radio could be heard. 

She hadn't dare tell her mother about anything she had experienced or had been feeling during the duration of this stay. It would kill her; it would physically kill her. 

The refugee knew for a fact the only two things that would ever make her mother completely disappointed in her existence would be to fall in love with an American and be gay. 

Somehow Jackie had managed to check off the two boxes and now had to live with that. Who knew if this relationship would even last.

What would they even do if Jackie left the states? Communication would be tough and Gigi, though loyal and kind to her, could certainly and easily move on once the date of her departure was set. 

_ Maybe it is a phase.  _

Jackie shook her head aggressively as she slapped her own shoulder trying to have an intelligent debate with her own psyche. 

"No, no, no," she replied to her own intrusive thoughts. "This is not a phase, this is who I am, I am in love with her and I have to deal with that even if it makes everything complicated." 

The Persian knew not to promise herself for anything before knowing if she was even going to stay in the United States. 

_ We will take this one day at a time. _

— *.✧

Crystal huffed as she shook her head, immediately regretting the decision to drive out to the city to visit Jaida and talk about their unfinished ordeal. 

The redhead knocked hesitant at first before her fist pounded against the wooden door. 

"This is such a bad idea," she mumbled to herself as she stood right outside still in the shirt she had slept in.

She straightened herself out before shoving her hands into her pockets with a blank expression.

She heard a loud yell from the other side of the door and assumed that it had to be Jaida considering she lived alone in her condo—unless Jan was over, then the conversation and excuse to see her would be quite interesting.

_ Please, if there's some kind of faith out there, let it just be Jaida. _

What was seconds seemed like hours up until the woman answered her door, already nice and dressed up as she smiled unaware of who could be visiting her so up and early. 

The expression changed the moment she saw Crystal's face—the redhead couldn't tell if it was for good or for bad.

"Oh," Jaida began quietly before nervously opening up her door, welcoming in her own friend as if she was an unfamiliar stranger. 

Tension was thick but atleast her apartment had air conditioning.

"You're never over this side of the city, you okay?" Jaida asked pressingly as she asked if Crystal wanted water or even some coffee that she had made. 

"I'm good," she responded gently before she made her way over to the grey couch that laid in the middle of the living room. "I just wanted to talk to you." 

Jaida froze, intelligent enough to already put the pieces of the puzzle together she turned towards Crystal and stared her down.

"What do you have to say about my relationship, I saw how you were acting at the roller rink a few nights ago." 

Crystal winced.

She took a breath, trying not to explode in bottled up anger before she picked at her fingers with a shrug. 

"I can't come and see you because we're friends?" 

Crystal was an awful liar and Jaida could tell, the stance and her posture made it all the more obvious.

_ It's hard to speak when the entire room smells like Jan and her overpriced rose scented perfume.  _

"I wasn't born yesterday." 

Crystal rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to speak though Jaida quickly interjected before the other woman could even get a word in. 

"I don't want any witty comments, Jan is my girlfriend and be jealous all you need to or want but you are the one who introduced me to her, bottom line." 

"I did because I didn't expect you to just go from me to her so quickly, I was not trying to set you up, you chose to try and get with my friend," Crystal spat back.

"You certainly have a type from what I've noticed going from me straight to Jan," Crystal added bitterly as she wiped her eyes, feeling them begin to fog up once the words left her lips.

"Child," the woman across from her whispered with a heavy sigh, keeping direct eye contact though the redhead was the one who looked away embarrassed from every reply. 

"We were not a couple, we had drinks a lot, we slept together and you would go running back to Gigi every morning whether it was for personal reasons or just your job I do not know and I certainly will not investigate," Jaida added firmly, not even blinking as she gave her full attention to Crystal.

"So all those months meant nothing to you?" 

"That's not what I said, don't put words into my mouth," Jaida corrected as she tied up her hair, already becoming flustered at the subject of her (somewhat) ex bringing up her own current girlfriend.

"You drove all this way just to comment on my relationship?" 

"I drove all this way to try and tell you how I felt about you all these months and how I feel seeing you just kiss and slobber all over my friend!" 

Jaida groaned. 

"Why didn't you say something the first time we went on a date?" 

Crystal felt her entire stomach drop, unable to even form a cohesive response and Jaida brushing her hand on her shoulder did not help the situation.

_ Jan is gonna kill me. _

Crystal gently grabbed her wrist before she smashed their lips together. 

Jaida stood in shock, immediately pulling back as Crystal nervously swallowed a breath before there were a few moments of silence between them. 

"Jaida," Crystal began before the taller woman took her in her arms and kissed her again. Her fingers ran through her hair as Crystal melted into the kiss not even stopping to remember that the woman beside her was still dating her other closest friend.

_ Let's not spoil the moment with harsh reality.  _

"This feels so wrong," The redhead mumbled against her lips though Jaida rolled her eyes, insisting that this was both of their wrongdoing. 

It felt  _ so _ wrong. 

Incredibly wrong.

Undeniably fucked.

Yet—it was the most satisfying thing that could've possibly happened, some kind of egotistical complex rushed through Crystal's body in satisfaction as they kissed. 

The redhead beside her couldn't believe that she would speak on and on about how glorified cheating was in their society yet she was the one currently in the wrongdoing. 

_ Hypocritical. _

Jaida grinned as she pulled Crystal into her bedroom, the two not even wanting to speak, afraid though they both knew that they were breaking every basic rule of a relationship or a friendship just to kiss each other.

The same bed that Jaida and Jan had probably inhabited for weeks now, doing whatever they did together and now here was Crystal breaking back into her life and apparently making her rethink every decision about Jan and their private life. 

"It's wrong but it's what we both wanted," Jaida hummed near her earlobe, Crystal flushed heavily as her nails seemed to instantly dig into the skin of the woman's back.

Everything was screaming in Crystal's head for her to get up, apologise and go run to Jan and say all that was currently happening however she stayed down and let the feeling rush over. 

"You're right." 

— *.✧

"Where's Crystal?" Gigi asked as she paced down the hallway of her father's lobby. 

Usually her best friend would be early or at least perfectly on time to help with whatever task they had set for that day. 

"I don't know," the Persian whispered beside her partner as she adjusted the new dress that Jan had brought her to try out; it was apparently from a small store right near the beach they had visited the other day. 

"You think this is okay on me?" 

Gigi flushed as she watched Jackie turn on the heels of her shoe as she spun in the flowing floral dress. Jan knew how to style anyone quite well and this certainly wasn't an exception.

"More than okay," Gigi responded as she left a peck on the middle eastern woman's cheek. "Ethereal as always." 

Jackie chuckled, unable to take any kind of compliment well especially if it was being thrown by the one woman who managed to always make her weak. 

"Thank you," she mumbled under her breath as she stole one more kiss from the blonde before they both heard the sound of up and coming footsteps. 

Gigi jumped back and continued her work painting some of the final letters for the lobby as Jackie stood next to her, unknowingly and pretending to read the newspaper that was beside her.

_ I can't even understand half of this, why did I think this was a smart choice?  _

The woman, who Gigi knew as Raja, continued to walk down the lobby and past them. Her shades on as she carried a towel and her usual pool bag that the blonde would see lying around.

"Morning," the older woman hummed as she waved to Jackie and Gigi who politely smiled and waved back. The Persian gave a subtle bow of her head as she disappeared out of sight. 

"She's a regular, kind of always is here, she's honestly pretty nice," the blonde admitted in a whisper as Jackie nodded in agreement.

"She gave me free alcohol once when I was getting up to go and see you at the beach." 

Gigi laughed. 

"She's usually always here with this other woman that stays around here," Jackie admitted as her partner gasped, curious to hear more on the subject.

"I have had such a feeling about her," the blonde admitted as Jackie giggled and stood beside her, beginning to trace shapes on her own hand. 

"Sometimes it's a blonde one, about her age, and then sometimes it is another woman who is about her age and complexion—she has very dark hair to." 

Gigi gasped, invested.

"I think we have more than two people like us that are staying here." 

Jackie rolled her eyes, she didn't want to debate and theorize someone's own sexuality and possible love interests right in front of the lobby. 

They both looked up as they began to hear incessant panting from down the hallway, the footsteps turned into full on sprinting as Crystal was finally seen in full glory. 

"Finally!" 

The redhead sighed and began to apologise though Gigi brushed her off. Crystal looked both tired and exhilarated at the same time, her hair was tied back, a new but very welcome look for her. 

"I'm guessing you slept in?" 

Crystal laughed. 

"I guess you could say that," she responded with a hint of worry as Jackie cocked her brows and crossed her arms not liking the way her tone came out.

"What were you up to?" The middle eastern women asked like a pressing aunt would back home at a family dinner. Jackie knew what the answer would probably be but she wanted to hear it out of Crystal's own mouth. 

The redhead gave a gaze that screamed nothing but guilt as her expression softened and she began to bite her lip. 

"Oh nothing, just was struggling to get up today is all, I took a drive and kind of got lost on the way," she admitted and it was  _ entirely _ a lie.

Gigi shrugged. 

"I believe you."

Jackie knew something was up however she understood that they both had work to do so she left the conversation at that.

"I'm going to head to the pool, have fun finishing your work," she called out before giving a final wave goodbye to Gigi and Crystal who both continued painting. 

Saying her goodbyes she went down the hallway trying to go outside and maybe see the pool. 

Carrying on right near the exit she saw a face she recognised as Gigi's father pop up right beside her, as if he had urgent business with her.

"Jackie is it?" 

The Persian woman nodded, a bit confused.

"Can I see you for just a few minutes?"

His tone seemed welcoming enough. Jackie walked with him right outside to where no residents could be found, it was like the abandoned area of land where her and Gigi had first made out.

_ I do not like the energy between us right now. _

Gigi's father looked around making sure there were no residents around before beginning to speak directly to her. 

_ "I know you're with my daughter." _

Jackie's entire life seemed to completely flash before her eyes as she continued to keep eye contact with the man in control of this entire operation. 

"Excuse me," was all that Jackie could muster out and it didn't even come out like a question, it felt more like a statement.

"I know that other there it is very rough right now so I want to make you a deal." 

There wasn't even a question if she was with Gigi, it was as if someone had ratted them out or as if he saw first hand. 

"Wait, wait," she exclaimed, worried that this would be her demise. "What do you mean by me and Gigi?" 

Her father stared for a few moments further, as if he was studying her facial expressions to try and detect some resemblance of truth. 

"I am no fool, tell my daughter to stop kissing you in front of our own home when she takes you out on rides." 

Jackie couldn't even respond. 

She knew someway, somehow that all the kissing and Gigi's pushing of her to become a bit less scared of who is around to see them was a bad idea from the start. 

The Persian opened her mouth but the man beside her beat her to it, he began his original statement once again. 

"I know it's rough over there however my daughter doesn't need to be around this, if you can pack all your stuff and leave in a week I will give you a fully paid ticket to wherever you wanna go next." 

_ Canada isn't too far out of sight or mind is it. _

Jackie was impressed by how calm and collected the man in front of her was. It was almost out of character compared to everything she had seen or heard about first hand.

The Persian could have easily been murdered right in cold blood if he so desired however he seemed to be serious and sincere about this issue. 

"Fully paid?" 

"Fully paid." 

This man was offering to buy her not only a plane ticket to Canada but a plane ticket to be as far away and out of mind from his own daughter as possible.

She couldn't argue, her heart exclaimed how awful of an idea it was but her logic was beginning to overrule her emotions. 

A fully paid ticket, she would have some money left over to get some food or a hotel if needed, she would be safer than she currently was in a country where her own people were viewed as garbage. 

It was with or try and play with fire and she had absolutely no hand or leg up compared to a white male who was being far too nice in the first place. 

She couldn't possibly refuse the offer, no matter how much she loved Gigi and how much she had enjoyed some of her time here. 

_ This is what would be safest… to forget all about this and leave, would it not? _

"So?" 

Jackie sighed.

"I need to get to Canada."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to all my friends and jc for always keeping the hype and hopes up, hope you all enjoy and tumblr is @leljaaa as always xx

**Author's Note:**

> hope you all enjoyed, comments much appreciated.


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